Money. How I loathe thee...
Money, How I loathe thee...
Money. Moolah. Coin. Bread. No matter what you call it, money makes the world go round. But when you’re disabled, it’s something you desperately need and yet always seem to lack. I haven’t been able to work for some time due to the progression of my health issues. I used to be a skilled Customer Service agent and PBX Operator, but I can no longer perform those roles as I once did.
For a while, I found a way to make it work through Email and Chat support for Ancestry.com, and I loved my work there. Unfortunately, my team was dissolved, and we were shifted to phone work, which I can no longer do. So, I had to part ways. Since then, I’ve been completely unemployed, relying solely on my Disability income and what my husband earns. It’s not enough. With my health-related expenses, my mother-in-law’s nursing home bills, and our other costs, I’ve fallen behind on a few payments.
Now, I’m trying to find a way forward, but it's a struggle: A) Finding remote work. B) Finding positions in Email/Chat support or Data Entry. C) Finding work that pays enough to cover the past due $3,000 to $4,000 nursing home bill—without exceeding the income threshold that could end my SSI benefits. Losing those benefits would cut my income by a thousand dollars and risk my medical coverage. As a diabetic with XLH, Ankylosing Spondylitis, Ménière’s disease, and progressive hearing loss—confined to bed about 70% of the time—that would be disastrous.
I keep searching for ways to make it work, but I often end up overwhelmed, sinking deeper into depression, and the opportunities slip away. Every day, I wish I could do the work I used to do. I try to muster the strength to fight, but lately, it feels like a never-ending battle.
Sometimes, I can’t help but feel that the system is set up to make life exceptionally difficult for disabled people like myself—to wear us down until we’re no longer a "drain" on the system. I know that sounds bleak, but that’s truly how it feels. I believe, deeply, that people like me are not drains on society; we have value in so many ways. But that doesn’t make the roadblocks any less real, or the journey any less daunting.
But its the dawn of another day. Another week. Maybe the answer is coming soon. So ever hopeful despite the struggle, I plod on. While weary from the battle, I refuse to give up. For it’s through trials that we find our way, forging resilience in the face of adversity.